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As parents, we have all been there. I half-jokingly refer to my daughter as Mono-Syll-Annie, for her one word responses to my inquires about her day. Heck, even her text messages are limited to: “Good” or “Fine” or if I’m lucky, “How are you?” And I’d like to think I have a pretty good relationship with my daughter. Getting children to open up to us can be challenging. Books have been written on the subject. Countless psychologists have penned magazine articles. Each puts its own twist on the subject, but they all have common denominators. Engage the Brain has sorted through the literature, determined the common denominators and reduced them to bite-sized nuggets you can easily digest and use to engage your child in conversation. As frustrating as it can be, engaging your child in conversation has important payoffs. It helps increase cognitive functions (thinking), improve social skills (getting along with others) and regulate emotional (feelings) growth. In both of you:-) The Common Denominators Express enthusiasm for your child’s interests, even if they are not yours. Acknowledge your child’s frustrations, fears and or disappointments. Share personal experiences, especially examples of when you were sad, disappointed or angry. Ask specific questions. Rather than “How was your day?” ask “What was the favorite part of your day?” The Daily Meal is a company that puts together dinnertime activities for busy families. One part of their program is providing ready-made questions to ask kids at the dinner table. Here are a few examples:

• What was the best part of your day? Worst part of your day?
• If you could travel anywhere in the world, where would you want to go and why?
• What have you learned in the news this week that you’ve found interesting?
• What was your favorite part of a recent trip or vacation?
• If you could do something to change the world, what would it be? Why?
• What are you looking forward to doing this weekend?
• What family member do you think you’re most similar to?
• Honesty is the best policy — Do you agree or disagree?
• (http://www.dailymeal.com)

Allow your child to respond to questions in different ways. While some children are verbal, others are more analytical, dramatic or even physical. Playroom Lubbick.com offers these three suggestions: Use a wand or a sword to answer questions. This gives kids a sense of power to be able to wave a wand or sword in conversation. Use puppets! You can pick up puppets at the Dollar Tree. Helps children with risk taking of being honest and vulnerable. Use a beach ball or other large plastic ball and a sharpie to write questions. Toss the ball and wherever your child’s thumb or index finger lands, that is the question to answer. Great for kids who like to be active or use their bodies. Find the right time. Just as adults don’t like to walk in the door from work and be bombarded with questions from their spouse, children may need to time to decompress too. Dinnertime or even bedtime may be a more relaxing time for your child and then be more willing to open up about the day’s events. Conclusion We all want to raise happy, well-adjusted children. Even the most extroverted kids come to a point when they stop communicating with their parents. Don’t throw in the towel and declare that you have “lost your child to their friends and social media.” Persistence pays off. Ask a specific question. Empathize with your child. Share personal stories. Find the right time. Do these things and your child will open up to you. Read More

In Florida, and in many other states across the country, schools can be defined as either good or bad based on their letter grade designation largely earned through students’ performance on high stakes tests.

Parents muse, “John Doe Elementary is an A school and have wonderful teachers. Jane Doe Elementary is a C school. They just don’t get the talented, veteran teachers.”

These musings are not only incorrect, they place faith in a system that is faulty at best.

The Learning Specialists at Engage the Brain have all been classroom teachers and continue to work with students in school settings. We like to think we know a good school when we visit one. Without even looking at the test scores.

How?
Let’s start with the letter designation of a school. A rated schools tend to have some or all of the following: Students from higher socioeconomic backgrounds, more resources to help prepare students for high stakes tests like access to supplemental curriculum materials, involved parents, administrators and teachers whom emphasize teaching to the test and in up to 5% of schools, cheating on high stakes tests by adults. Yes, shocking!

How about the C rated schools? Schools with a lot of high performing students and or a lot of low performing students find it difficult to show academic growth, a major contributor to a school’s letter grade. High performing students have nowhere to go but down on standardized tests. Maintaining a high score does not record “growth.” Low performing students are often caught in a cycle of underperforming and do not record “growth” on standardized tests. The very best, veteran teachers can struggle to meet the needs of each of these populations, in their classrooms.

So besides a school’s letter grade, how else can you tell if a school is good? Here is a list of key indicators that can reveal the quality of a school:

• School attendance – Does a high percentage of students attend school every day?
• Students with disabilities – Is the school providing services and accommodations?
• Teacher collaboration – Are teachers provided time to truly meet and discuss students and instruction?
• College and Career readiness – Are students graduating from high school ready for the rigors of college classes and or work?
• Satisfied Parents – Are parents of students at the school satisfied with the teachers and level of communication the school provides?
• Student Enthusiasm – When you visit the school, do you sense the students are happy, respectful and engaged in the school community?

Conclusion
These are just a few ways to evaluate a school beyond its state issued letter grade. Not all A schools are full of highly effective, veteran teachers and high performing students engaged in wonderful collaborative, project-based learning programs. Like wise, not all C schools are filled with underperforming students and ineffective teachers struggling to make the grade on high stakes tests. By using the key indicators you can assess a school for yourself.

What letter grade would you give your child’s school?

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Executive Functions has been gaining more attention as children continue to struggle to keep up with an increasingly rigorous curriculum and increased expectations. ADHD – Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder – and executive functions weaknesses can go hand in hand.

According to webmd.com, Executive functions are a set of mental skills that help you get things done.

Executive function helps you:

• Manage time
• Pay attention
• Switch focus
• Plan and organize
• Remember details
• Avoid saying or doing the wrong thing
• Do things based on your experience

Children with executive functions weakness may struggle with one, several or all of these skills. Parents, does this sound like your child? If so, don’t panic! These skills can be taught and a child can improve. While it is not a magical cure, requiring your child to use a homework planner is a giant first step to improving your child’s executive functions.

(Example of a student planner)

At Engage the Brain we work with students from a variety of school settings: public, private, charter, parochial. Each school, even within Orange and Seminole Counties, has different technologies and procedures for assigning classwork and homework. For example, one private school is essentially paperless. Students are required to have a laptop and everything is digital. A student can open to a “dashboard” and view a To do list, a calendar with assignments listed for the week, and whether any work is missing. Assignments are even uploaded and graded digitally.

Sounds great. But… a student is still required to remember ALL of their assignments and up coming tests UNLESS their laptop is open, connected to Wi-Fi, and is on the school’s website. That’s where a physical homework planner makes a huge difference. A planner will assist a child in managing tasks to be done and events to be managed. Tasks to be done include completing math homework and writing vocabulary sentences. Events to manage include studying for the science test and meeting with a study group for a collaborative project.

Technology is wonderful, but it cannot replace the ability to instantly view all your tasks and events in one place at any time. Students with executive functions issues can suffer from higher levels of anxiety. Using a planner will reduce stress when a student understands AND SEES all the work that needs to be done and that there is time to do it all; with proper planning.

A good planner has enough room to write down assignments for each class. In addition, a student ought to include the materials needed to complete the assignment. Encourage your child to include his personal tasks and events in the planner. For example, if your child has piano lessons on Wednesdays at 4:30 pm, that ought to be included in the planner too. If your high school child participates in a sport that practices every afternoon from 3:00-5:00, that time ought to be blocked off in the planner.

Wrapping it Up

At first you will need to assist your child – even your high school age child – in setting up the planner. Seeing everything in one place is important. Your child will “see” where her study times will need to happen on each day of the week. Quickly your child’s stress level will come down as the planner imposes order on her life.

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In a perfect world all parents would have the time and temperament to volunteer in their child’s classroom. And in that same perfect world all teachers would be comfortable and creative enough to accept those parents into their classrooms and have worthwhile activities for them to do.

Of course we do not live in a prefect world. So let’s be realistic… Not all parents are eager to go into their child’s classroom and hang out with 25 nine –year olds for an hour. And… Not all teachers are comfortable with even a few parents in the classroom for an hour or so. Neither side, of course, is right or wrong; it’s just reality.

The research is clear: students whose parents volunteer with the school perform better academically and achieve better on standardized tests. But how can parents that work 9-5 jobs help their child receive the academic boost volunteering provides?

Glad you asked! Engage the Brain gathered some ideas from the Internet to provide you, the working parent, with volunteer suggestions. It is important to reflect on your skill set. Pick activities that you enjoy doing – or at least can tolerate. Remember to keep your eye on the prize – the academic boost. If your child’s teacher has not sent out a “Volunteering Ideas” form, it is perfectly acceptable to suggest one of these activities. Most teachers will be extremely grateful.

Here are some suggestions:

Donate items to the class
White board markers, sandwich baggies of all sizes, tissues, and extra snacks for students who forget/can’t afford them are a few suggestions.

Work with students before school/work
Are you comfortable working with children? Mentoring and or working with a small group of students on reading skills or math facts before you go to work in the morning, before school starts, would be widely accepted by teachers.

Skype with the class from your office
You could read a story to the class via Skype. Not only will the students enjoy a story, they will see technology used for reasons other than gaming.

Work on the teacher’s website
If your child’s teacher has a website, chances are she does not have the time to regularly update it. The teacher could email you weekly classroom updates that you could post.

Create Bulletin Boards
Most teachers dread creating bulletin boards. Depending on the classroom and hallway outside the room, a teacher could have as many five bulletin boards that need ideas. Offering to design, prepare and put up a bulletin board would be welcomed by most teachers. This can be done early in the morning before you go to work, or late afternoon on your way home from work.

Research science and social studies topics
Even in elementary school students study science topics and history. Veteran teachers who know their subject material would welcome bringing fresh and engaging information to their instruction. Less experienced educators would appreciate the additional information to supplement the textbook lessons.

Prepare instructional materials
Teachers are constantly creating materials for instruction, especially at the elementary level. Cutting out laminated materials, putting together file folder activities, writing/typing learning scales for display in the classroom are just a few suggestions. Ask the teacher his needs, and you will receive plenty of materials to prepare.

Party coordinator
Special events and holidays can be stressful times for teachers. Offering to coordinate these events would be welcome by most educators. Organizing which parents will be in the classroom for a party, delegating which parents are bringing which items is a huge responsibility that most teachers would welcome assistance with.

Conclusion
The research is clear – children with parents who are involved in their education perform better in school. However, not every parent has the luxury of time or even the desire to volunteer in the classroom and handle many of the traditional duties. Fortunately, you can still make an impact on your child through volunteering to help the teacher from outside the classroom. Ask your child’s teacher how you can best help her. If she does not bring up one of these ideas, suggest one.

There are many reasons you ought volunteer in your kid’s school. Perhaps the biggest one is the child you drop off at the front door of the school each morning.

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